After the honeymoon, I'd a difficult time trying to adjust myself back to the fast working pace that my work demands. Somehow during the honeymoon period, I have thrown away all aspects of my work...Furthermore, after I returned from honeymoon, my partner, F, has already left the company and left me alone...
I began to shut myself up, I began to fear, I began to cry, I began to breakdown (more than once). It is so difficult to continue working with the high demands and needs from my job...I began to ponder, why am I making my life so difficult? Why should I subject myself to such unhappiness while I am earning the big bucks? I spoke to the management ppl - They are all very nice to me, yet they are very straightforward when they pinpt my weaknesses - Lack of confidence & maturity.
Yes,I agree. Despite I am 24 years old this year, I am married, I am still lack of maturity. Why leh? Cuz I am afraid to face the stress in work. I am such a weakling that I refuse to face it, I refuse to grow up. Or do I just plainly started to detest the work I am doing, because I am afraid of the high demands of the job? I duno...I am very very down...I broke down in office...I hate myself...for not being able to face it, to grow up, like what they said about me...
All these while, my only wish is to get married, set up a decent family, get a decent job whereby I am not required to be on stand-by every minute even during lunch, or after-work, or during off-days or during MC. I just wan to complete my work for the day and knock off at decent time. I love my home, I love my husband, I love my family and friends. Why can't I focuz more on them while I jus hold a decent 9-to-5 job?
I admit I am not a strong n tough person. I admit I am not confident enough...But why can't I be the way I am?I felt so touched when Dear said that I do not need to try to be the person what others want be to be. I am what I am. Why should I pretend to be tough and strong when I am not like that? He accepts me for what I am...I felt so touched...At the same time, I really wish I am more grown-up, more matured, more readily to face stress, so that if we have baby, we are able to cope with the demands of life...
I have therefore requested to transfer out of my current role which they have agreed. Hopefully in the next secretary's assistant role I will be in, I will be more able to cope with the stress and demands...
Please...I really keep my fingers cross...
If not, what should I do? Quit and find another job I like? Tryin to adjust to a new environment takes time, and the starting process is quite difficult..I tried it when I first joined this company. Especially when you jump to an entirely different sector...
Why is my work life so messy while I know perfectly what I want in my personal life?Work is my least priority. I work because I need constant income and to keep my mind working, and to keep myself updated with the society.
I pray that the hard times would be gone real soon, and get a job that I would feel comfortable in.
you know what..it's just simply a mismatch of job to what you require from your career. everybody expects different things from their various aspects of life. you know yourself best and from what you had written, i think you know what you want from your job.
ReplyDeleteit's not easy going to a work dreading every moment of it. it's just going to wear you out and make you feel that you hate your life. take this time to look for a job that you know you'll like. it's better to start now then when we get older.
like you..i love to spend time with the husband and friends and find it hard to keep to a job which will take up too much of my time & attention. i've friends who have gotten married but are willing to put alot of time and attention on their job because it's what they are like. they just have to compromise on the time spent with their partners and friends. and their partners and friends (like us) gladly accept it as part of them.
so basically..it's all down to your priorities and what you want in life. try not to get caught up in the rat race. having a better income is of cos important. but it's definitely not worth it if it burns you out and makes you give up on what you think is important to you.
feel free to chat if you need, alright? :)
Tianxin mei mei, I think your friend is very right. It's all about priority in life. If really you are feeling so stressed up and so depressed over what you have to deliver in work, it might just mean that this is not what you enjoy doing. Why make yourself suffer like that? Have you consider that it might be better for you to exit rather than torturing yourself there and making your own life miserable? I guess your hubby also won't want you to be so troubled by your work right?
ReplyDeleteA dissatisfying career will have much impact in your life. You like it or not, this will affect your family life, your emotions, your morale, etc... You will become depressed, unsatisfied, moody, needy, dependent and irritable. This might strain relationships too, you know.
Anyway, you will be accepting a transfer to become a secretary's assistant, take the chance to see if you will like the job. If you like it, then it will work out well. If not, it's really time for you to sit down and think it over carefully.
Well, don't be too demoralised. Look forward to your new role! Cheer up, k? Don't forget, you always have a bunch of jie mei there to support you and listen to you... Not forgetting, the "P-Serv" bunch! :)
I think it's how we prioritise our life... like me i also work alot but i m glad to have my family, partner and frens who understand my work and r supportive of what i do.. hehe. Maybe this thinking may change as i progress to different stages of life but i try to be contented with my current status. I can't always get the best of both worlds so gonna sacrifice some somehow...
ReplyDeleteAnyway with the transfer i think u can make a better decision on what u want from ur job & life... do take some time to think through... we r always there for u if u need someone to talk to :p
*hugs*, truly understand how u felt after u shared with us over bbq yesterday. True, looking for a job is of course a way out, but what's impt is to know what u want in a job. I've the same problems of having no AIM in my career path, and I definitely don't feel good. But I believe once we know what we want, things will work out eventually.
ReplyDeleteMeeting more people (eg. ex-colleagues), and through communicating, you may get to know about other career opportunities which may be of your interest (that's what I do at times).
You've already faced the worst in this job now, what comes next will only get better. Take it easy, while you start to search for better options next year :)
Thank you all my dear friends...I have also talked to my hubby, talked to my mum...I think I have not found the job I like - thou stimes reality takes over dreams...I can't be doing my dream job for a mere salary of $1k right? I thought by sacrificing my likes, by accepting this challenge, by having this income, it will mean "working hard+realistically to meet our finances needs". However, I think I got burnt out even faster cuz there's nothin to keep me going except for money (Colleagues also good lah). Sigh...that is life yah?
ReplyDeleteHey gal, i did not know that u r so stress up.... Once again, just relax and try to think positive.. i am also trying very hard to be positive.. But look! you have a very loving hubby and caring friends.. so u r lucky!!
ReplyDeleteHmm... Things may not be as bad as it seems... Maybe you're too hard on yourself? Whatever you do, just do your best and don't think so much about how others see you. Your hubby is right - You are who you are and we all love you for who you are. Everyone has his strengths and weaknesses. Why not magnify your strengths more rather than magnifying your weaknesses? I know you can do it one. Have seen the way you worked before and I know you can make it.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, if you really so 辛苦, it's really a job-fit issue. Then you may want to consider joining my line of work haha... :)
Sharon, i always wanted to join government sector as civil servant. But sigh...I am just not fated to get into one that I hope to get into..Too difficult to get entry leh.
ReplyDeleteWell, I am now hoping that my team can release me from my duties as soon as I hand my stuffs over.
Thanks for giving me the confidence.
Hmm no problem. Maybe I can tie you up with my Recruitment Head if you interested to join my organization. Just let me know if things don't get better. But of course, hope that everything will be alright for you soon! :)
ReplyDeleteTian Xin, I'm sure you can over come your fears and weakness. Do think of your strong points, only focusing on your weakness would not do you good. Everyone is good at something but not everything :)
ReplyDelete(suddenly realised that what I wanna tell you have already been posted by Sharon on 25th Nov)
By the way I heard from my mum that wedding bells are just round the corner for our cousins. I heard is in March 07 next year. It would be stressful for me in family gatherings liao. My cousin Zhaoxiang is a year younger than me and he is marrying next year or strictly speaking in about 3 months time?