Food For Thought - Did I Marry The Right Person?

This is a very interesting article for married couples to read, digest and work on it -

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?



During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that
there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered
"How do you know?"


Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing
on your mind.


Here's the answer.


EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love
with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In
fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't
have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...Because
it's happening TO YOU.


People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think
about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something came along and

happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive
and spontaneous experience.


But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love
fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but
surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all) and your spouse's
idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.



The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent
stage.



At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria
of the love you once had, you may begin to desire

that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes
and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to
work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.



But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel

better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen
carefully to this):



THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING
love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen
to you. You can't "find" LASTING love.

You have to "make" it and day out. That's why we have the expression
"the labor of love."


Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes
WISDOM .


You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake
about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with
or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.



Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program
makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL
make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know
and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make"
love.



Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Quite true huh? Bear that in mind, I told myself and my hubby...

These few days, I have experienced the truth of these words...Staying in love in marriage isn't easy, especially when both of us have to face each other under the same roof even when your moods have turned bad because of an arguement or a quarrel. We have to work really hard in order to solve the unhappiness between us, to cheer up the mood that has went dull, and to rekindle the love inside us...

Trust me, it isnt easy....