What Shld I do?

I have a lot of uncertain thoughts now...Wondering what should my next
step be? Wesley keeps telling me, Cheer up! Be more positive! But it
seems like I m so into my "negative mood" that I cant turn back in
time...



Everytime in work, I feel like I am causing and creating problems
rather than adding incentive or value ( that means good n many closure
lah). I really appreciate that in my company they are slowly teaching
me through the mistakes I made. But at the same time, I m feelin
doubtful n guilty that I am the bane of so many unnecessary problems.
Is it because I am really that bad or is my working style is wrong? Y
is it that I dun feel I am in any ways, valuable at all?



Underneath my bubbly look, I am actually a negative n pessimistic
person who always blame myself for a lot of things. Yet at the same
time, I m abit resistant towards help and advice. I duno how to open up
myself, to have a more cheerful me, a more motivating me, n a more
willing to learn from mistakes person. I keep swallowin myself within
the black hole I created fro myself. My grumbles and complaints have
been increasing & I know it affects my colleagues, and eventually
they will not wan to come near me liao..



I dun wan to be a burden to my team as I dun contribute to their sales,
yet I dun wan to escape from problems by quitting ( thou I m oreadi
unhappy workin here) I dun find any much joy/satisfaction in the work I
do. I feel dragged....
I would like to grow up and be more matured in my every decision, esp
towards my work. I dun wan to escape jus bcuz i cant face up to my
problems..But i need to tok to someone but duno who..Dun wan to add on
more problems to bf, dun wan to show myself as a weakling to my senior
colleagues cuz eventually it still boils down to my own self. They wun
understand my problems one. They will see me as a problem instead....



I dun wan end up to c psychastrist. I dun hav problem...I juz need to
tok to someone I feel comfortable with, n able to provide me positive
views.