My Wish

Birthday-Wish

Just passed my last 20th birthday 4 days back... Sigh... Once the years passed, its never turning back. I never thought my youthful 20s would pass so fast. I always thought, time is on my side. I always thought, I will always be this youthful. But, the reality is not like this.

Next year will be my first big "3". I have to learn to age with grace. I have to learn to embrace LIFE. I have to be grateful for every single year of my life as they are given by my parents and is cherishable!

What I am "fearful" about aging is the signs that will show on my face (e.g. wrinkles, spots, dull looking skin). Maybe can start to use SK II products and eat more bird's nest to nourish my skin and maintain my youth! Haha... Seriously, maybe I can focus more on the important elements of aging, for e.g. matured disposition, more wisdom, being a steady mother , being a more respectful person etc? Well, I shall work harder on focusing on that. But I still WISH I can maintain my youth!!! Hahaha...

Parent-Wish

I wish, as a parent, for my child to be able to explore freely in their world. I wish, as a parent, for my child to be able to grow up feeling confident, and brave. I wish, as a parent, for my child to have unlimited quest for knowledge. I wish, as a parent, for my child to be independent and strong. Unlike me.

I deem myself to be a failure, sometimes. I am conservative and unwilling to explore the world. I am timid and have no confidence in myself (can't even drive a car confidently despite earning myself a license!). I always need other people to give me recognition, and yet I do not give myself any. Maybe I have always been well-protected and pampered by my family so I have always been a da-xiao-jie. When I grew up, I had to learn the hard ways on adjusting to the reality of life. Say for example when I become a mother, I found it so hard coping... If I had been stronger, tougher, independent, or more confident of myself, I would have adjusted to my new role better.

So I hope I can encourage my girl to be more daring to explore, to imagine, to be curious. And I hope my partner can support me by understanding how I want to be as a parent, and encourage her more instead of inhibiting what she can do, what she cannot do. If not, this will be an endless struggle between us, and she may end up being pampered, & being not confident like me when she grows up...

We can never be there for our children. We can never be there holding their hands, or catching them when they fall. Failure, in fact, could be the most effective way to learn and gain experience. So the most critical thing during their learning stage is to encourage and train them lifetime skills & positive attributes, which will be valuable to them for their whole life.

Life-Wish

I have this wish in my life which I have yet to fulfill thou I don't know when it will materialise. My wish is to bring my parents (especially my mother) out on a holiday trip. This is a simple yet not that simple wish. As my mother is very tied up with a demanding and ailing grandmother in the house, she cannot even leave the house for too long. I can understand her situation. Yet at the same time, I wish I can bring her out to see the world, for she had only went to Malaysia ONCE for her honeymoon many many years ago.

Death-Wish

This sounds a bit depressing huh? I have no death thoughts. But thought of penning it down somewhere, in any case... Well, things are so unpredictable. Who knows what happens next?

Its been my wish, when at my funeral, my beloved family and friends to write me a personal note about myself. And shall read to me before I depart the world. I always like to know what does people think of me? Am I a good friend? Or am I a detestable person? Or what have I done/contributed to their lives when I was alive? Or whether we had wonderful and happy memories together? Or whether you will miss me when I am gone... Then burnt me the notes so that I will bring along with me to the other world...

Hubby, you reading this? I know you don't like to write letters/cards to me cuz you are not that sort of person. But I still hope you will let me know your heartfelt thoughts. I hope I had made a positive impact in your life, despite all the unhappy events that had happened.

These are my Wishes....