New Blog domain is up & running!

After exporting all my old blogs from Multiply (soon to be closed wef 1 Dec 2012) to this Google Blogger, my new blog domain is finally up & running!

Hopefully with a Blogger app, I can blog more easily, anywhere & everywhere I go!

Thank goodness my 8 years worth of blog entries are able to be saved with this exporting tool. Otherwise I would have to take ages to archive them...

Looking back...My 2011

My 2011, has been really accomplishing, I should say!

• Took up a 1.5 years gym membership with California Fitness in July 2010, and it's expiring soon in Jan 2012! I've gradually increased my gym attendance from once a week (sometimes grudgingly and trying to pyscho myself out from going gym) till twice a week (and loving every moments of going to gym, and feeling out of odds and fat whenever I skipped a week!) The exercising makes me feels good! And I especially like the body combat class! Really shiok! But I will not be renewing my gym membership yet. Shall focus my priorities elsewhere next year.. But hope I won't grow fat once I stop exercising!
• Took part in JP Morgan Chase Corporate Run with my office buddy!
• Re-freshed my driving lessons under the personal coaching of the husb. Not too bad. But gradually I have stopped being enthu and started getting lazy... Opps! I wonder when can my resolution of "Be a confident and regular driver" will be realised?
• Our mother-and-daughter bond has become stronger this year when Kayla started to grow more attached to me. I feel more sense of "mother-satisfaction" as this bond grows stronger My efforts have finally started to pay off!

Other than feeling more accomplished, my life is 2011 was also pretty enjoyable!

• Caught 3 musicals/theatre shows in a year!
  

(Lion King was for my birthday treat, and Wicked was a couple date with husb. Beauty King was a "ogling-at-stripping-muscle-men" date with friends from office Heehee...)

• Went Japan and Gold Coast for the first time!

1. Japan-Tokyo: I always dreamed of going to Japan, and our wish came true in March 2011! We took a 10 Days 9 Nights F&E tour in Tokyo and had luckily escaped from a massive tsunami and earthquake that happened on the day we returned to Singapore. It's a nanrrow escape for us, and fortunate blessings for the 3 of us. We had enjoyed ourselves during this trip in Tokyo & Disneyland too.
   
2. Gold Coast: It's our second time to Australia, but our first in Gold Coast, and our first full self-drive trip. Still prefer Japan. haha.
   

• Couple dates!

Our husb-and-wife relationship has gradually improved towards the lower half of the year as we grow more loving, established more communication, maintained more patience with each other. And of cuz' the couple dates help! Regardless lunch/dinner dates, movie/musical dates, it's all about spending time with each other. There are more hugs and kisses, more TLC given. I realise the underlying rule is "The more you give to each other, the more it gets returned" I look forward to a more harmonious and loving relationship with the husb in the many more years to come!

Oh! Next year is our 十年 together-ness! My goodness! How fast time can pass... Feel so old with each other... But I've glad that with this 10 years, he is now my family, someone who will always stand by me with no strings attached.

To a brand new Year 2012 whereby I will be turning 30 years old, I hope I will:

• Spend more quality time with my own family, and my close friends
• Continue giving TLC and patience to my husb and daughter, and be a dutiful and good wife and mother to them.
  
• Staying healthy and FIT (if possible!)
• Bring Kayla more for outdoor and healthy activities instead of always going gai-gai in shopping centres
• 成功做人！
  

Facebook & Friends

From Wikipedia:

• Facebook is a social networking service and website launched in February 2004, operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc.^[1] As of July 2011, Facebook has more than 750 million active users.^[6][7] Users may create a personal profile, add other users as friends, and exchange messages, including automatic notifications when they update their profile.

• Friend(ship) is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations.

  Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• The tendency to desire what is best for the other
• Sympathy and empathy
• Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• Mutual understanding and compassion
• Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
• Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.

Recently something happened on Facebook, and prompted me to think about what is it about "Facebook" and what is it about "Friends" to me?

I like to, through updates on Facebook (a very easily accessible tool in my life now), write about anything about my life, my thoughts, my feelings - whether good or bad, happy or sad, etc... anything if and when I want to.Well, that is real life isn't it? Life has many different facades, not all the time rosy. Anyway I am such a person that I like to express them out, cuz of my character. I don't like to keep inside me, cuz if I do, I will keep dwelling over it and it makes me feel crazy!

Well, a friend texted me and briefly asked me I am alright now, few days after the post on the Facebook. Then the friend, I believe its out of good intention, told me that some things are better not to be said in public. Inside me I feel like saying its NOYB! I do not sense the Sympathy and Empathy from you, even as a fellow mother yourself. Yes, probably you are more rational, less emotional in character, and very fortunately that you do not face such hostile issues from your child, and you may not have been rejected by your own child, or even if you did, you would have been so level-headed that you wouldn't mind it with a kid! Oh yah, maybe you also think I am an immature adult who do not know how to handle my own feelings well, and who actually mind it with a kiddo! But these are my feelings! I care so much because I put in a lot of efforts on my child and I feel terribly disheartened whenever my child rejects me, pushes me away in favor of her father. I am someone who is in need of recognition and acceptance. And Yes, I may not be good in managing my feelings, but trust me, I have kept more inside me over the years. I have learnt not to share so much of my real feelings over the years. But there are times when I am really emotional and down, I need an outlet to release my feelings.

After this incident, I wonder... what is considered a Friend? One who tells the truth they have of you despite knowing that may hurt? Or who should at least empathize even if they don't sympathize? Maybe that is why it is defined in such a way that "there is a range of degrees of intimacy in friendship..." Friends who understand you better, who support you yet not afraid to tell you the truth after they have shown their support and understanding for you, are of a closer relationship. Those who only briefly tried to show their concern, then turn around to give a quick harsh judgement and opinion of their own, OUCH! That hurts. That I afraid I have to stay away...because you never once tried to understand me...

Well, I have learnt my lesson since I have been judged and commented on, no matter how much I want to relay my feelings/thoughts into words on Facebook, I better think twice! No I better think thrice! I have to turn to my blog to vent all the unspoken thoughts and feelings...& of cuz to count on real Friends whom I can trust to confide to...even if they judge, they have empathized...
^[update]

My Wish

Birthday-Wish

Just passed my last 20th birthday 4 days back... Sigh... Once the years passed, its never turning back. I never thought my youthful 20s would pass so fast. I always thought, time is on my side. I always thought, I will always be this youthful. But, the reality is not like this.

Next year will be my first big "3". I have to learn to age with grace. I have to learn to embrace LIFE. I have to be grateful for every single year of my life as they are given by my parents and is cherishable!

What I am "fearful" about aging is the signs that will show on my face (e.g. wrinkles, spots, dull looking skin). Maybe can start to use SK II products and eat more bird's nest to nourish my skin and maintain my youth! Haha... Seriously, maybe I can focus more on the important elements of aging, for e.g. matured disposition, more wisdom, being a steady mother , being a more respectful person etc? Well, I shall work harder on focusing on that. But I still WISH I can maintain my youth!!! Hahaha...

Parent-Wish

I wish, as a parent, for my child to be able to explore freely in their world. I wish, as a parent, for my child to be able to grow up feeling confident, and brave. I wish, as a parent, for my child to have unlimited quest for knowledge. I wish, as a parent, for my child to be independent and strong. Unlike me.

I deem myself to be a failure, sometimes. I am conservative and unwilling to explore the world. I am timid and have no confidence in myself (can't even drive a car confidently despite earning myself a license!). I always need other people to give me recognition, and yet I do not give myself any. Maybe I have always been well-protected and pampered by my family so I have always been a da-xiao-jie. When I grew up, I had to learn the hard ways on adjusting to the reality of life. Say for example when I become a mother, I found it so hard coping... If I had been stronger, tougher, independent, or more confident of myself, I would have adjusted to my new role better.

So I hope I can encourage my girl to be more daring to explore, to imagine, to be curious. And I hope my partner can support me by understanding how I want to be as a parent, and encourage her more instead of inhibiting what she can do, what she cannot do. If not, this will be an endless struggle between us, and she may end up being pampered, & being not confident like me when she grows up...

We can never be there for our children. We can never be there holding their hands, or catching them when they fall. Failure, in fact, could be the most effective way to learn and gain experience. So the most critical thing during their learning stage is to encourage and train them lifetime skills & positive attributes, which will be valuable to them for their whole life.

Life-Wish

I have this wish in my life which I have yet to fulfill thou I don't know when it will materialise. My wish is to bring my parents (especially my mother) out on a holiday trip. This is a simple yet not that simple wish. As my mother is very tied up with a demanding and ailing grandmother in the house, she cannot even leave the house for too long. I can understand her situation. Yet at the same time, I wish I can bring her out to see the world, for she had only went to Malaysia ONCE for her honeymoon many many years ago.

Death-Wish

This sounds a bit depressing huh? I have no death thoughts. But thought of penning it down somewhere, in any case... Well, things are so unpredictable. Who knows what happens next?

Its been my wish, when at my funeral, my beloved family and friends to write me a personal note about myself. And shall read to me before I depart the world. I always like to know what does people think of me? Am I a good friend? Or am I a detestable person? Or what have I done/contributed to their lives when I was alive? Or whether we had wonderful and happy memories together? Or whether you will miss me when I am gone... Then burnt me the notes so that I will bring along with me to the other world...

Hubby, you reading this? I know you don't like to write letters/cards to me cuz you are not that sort of person. But I still hope you will let me know your heartfelt thoughts. I hope I had made a positive impact in your life, despite all the unhappy events that had happened.

These are my Wishes....

When all things fail...

When all things fail... I realize the most important person that matter to me at that moment is Her. My baby.

It doesn't matter that I m upset, angry or mad beyond words. When I touch her, it doesn't matter anymore.

She is the most important matter in my life. Forever.

A mother who just want to be a better mom

All mothers are to be caregivers, aren't they? Unfortunately, I m not one mother who is deemed as a caregiver to her.

When she is in distress, she looks for her dad. When she is not feeling well, she looks for her dad. When she is feeling sleepy, she looks for her dad. I m nit her first choice. Or rather, I m not her choice.

I am more of her playmate cum story teller as she prefers me when of such nature.

I have tried and still is trying...to be her main caregiver, to be her first choice of need whenever she needs the comfort. This is the kind of mother I always wanted to be and aspired to be. A Great mother I always wanted to be n nothing else. But somehow things fall into pieces n doesn't seem the way wat I hope to be. Nobody can understand the dejections I went thru, the demoralized feelings I went thru when I got rejected by my own child, and when I have to b as a standby/backup to my husband. I tried to comfort her n carry her when she fell down in restricted premises ( kitchen) but she screams at me! Maybe thinking I m there to obstruct her again. I mean no harm but yet I m always the bad person in her eyes?or m I over sensitive? Some may perceived me to be petty who dun understand putting the child's interest in front and above of anyone else, including setting aside these selfish n unnecessary thoughts? Is it really I dun understand this simple logic as a parent or m I too absorbed in my own feelings or have I been demoralized and dejected so much so that I simply can't bury them as they keep evolving in me?

Do someone can really understand how I feel and not judge me as a selfish parent? I give my all to my girl, I tried my best and I wan to do more in showering her with love and warmth, am I wrong? Am I wrong to ask to do more but yet I dun have the priviledge of bring wanted in the end?

If no one can understand, I can't blame them. Cuz they may nt b in same shoes as myself. They may d ones on d other end whereby the kid sticks to them like superglue. That's when I wun understand their side of woes.

This issue has been existing since she was born till now she is more than a yr old. I duno how long and how hard do I need to try before I get to be a caregiver mother which I always wanted to be one.

A new Theme, for the New Year

Can't get back to sleep when woke up ard 4.30a.m. Decided to give my blog page a new look, with a new Theme. Refreshing colors.

希望新的一年,会有新的希望,新的开始,从新做`个更好的自己...

Sentiments 2009

My 2009 is an EXCITING & FULFILLING year for me...

After carrying Kayla for 40 weeks inside me, I finally become a mother on 26 July 2009.

It was not easy as a new mother starting from day 1 after she arrived to this world... Doing confinement and taking care of a newborn baby seemed to be the toughest moment I'd encountered. Without the support of my hubbie, I wouldn't have survived the 1st month, and also managed to breastfeed Kayla successfully. I am grateful for his endless support since the very 1st day even till now.

Moving on to the 2nd, 3rd, and now Kayla is growing well and strong in her 4th month! How time flies! Sometimes when I look back and try to recall the beginning times, the memories seem blurry...haha... How weird! Maybe the happiness as a mother now has over-ridden those lack-of-sleep zombie days, and those non-stop-crying-frustrating days bah. The joy of having her in our life, and seeing her growing and developing everyday makes our life so much fulfilling. It is good to have her in my arms, cuddling her, talking to her, smiling to her, listening to her baby talk, watching her play, witnessing her sleeping in peace...

My life won't be complete without her existence.

And now with friends around me also becoming new parents, I will try to render my support and lend a listening ear to them as much as possible, especially I've went through the tough stage myself. It's fulfilling to know that our tips/advice helps them and make things easier for them as new parents. We will be on the same path from now onwards, so support for one another is very important.

Let's look forward to a better 2010, together with our new bundle of joy bah!

Mummy Yam is Back to Work!

It has been a week since Mummy Yam returned to work..Initially thought I will have some time to get back into work momentum but didnt expect myself to be facing urgent matters to handle right away. I've no choice but to force myself to retrieve data from my "backup drive" in my brain and quickly get hands-on the tasks. Other than having to cope with stress of the work, I also have to handle all by myself as boss is still not back from her maternity leave. On top of that I have to better manage my time as I need to go pump milk, wash n sterilise the equipments 2 times a day. Every morning I also have to wake up earlier to pump milk before going to work. *Tired* Although there are more challenges for me to cope, I find it surprising that I'm coping ok! Maybe my stress level tolerance has increased with the coping of a baby at home for the past 3 months...Motherhood indeed has made me grow stronger n more matured.

I dun dare to think of my baby when I am busy at work thou I really miss her a lot. Only dare to look at her pictures and think of her when I am at my milk expression sessions. I was so lookin forward to knocking off work everyday & wish weekends can quickly come so that I can take care of her myself. So contrasting situation now comparing to my 1st month with her..haha...

At first I thought I can count on the maid who have been with us for almost 2 months, to take care of Kayla together with my in-laws. But sigh..already facing problems with her barely 1st wk I return to work. My FIL is missing 2 special $5 notes from his wallet which he keeps as collection. And from that day onwards, the maid started to show distraction in her work attitude and performed badly. Since tis is nt the 1st time of missing $, we decide the element of trust is no longer there, so have to send her back to the agency. We really have no choice but to send her back even thou we find her performance good. I wonder if we can still find someone as good as her the next round. Actually I still dislike the idea of hiring a maid again as I do not wish to subject ourselves to such nightmares again, I have no choice since my in laws need extra help taking care of Kayla. Unless if we manage to find a good bbsitter nearby then that's even better!

Well, take a step at a time and see wat God has planned for us bah...

The feelings before going back to work..

In another week's time, I will have to end my 3 months' of Mum-@-Home assignment and resume to Mum-@-Work status...

In my 1st month of stayin at home, I felt tired, bored and desperately wanted to go back to work...But after being with my baby for almost 24/7 everyday, and seeing her growing up everyday, I really can't bear to leave her for so many hours without seeing her. I've grown attached to her, but I do not know whether is the mutual feeling for her too? Or so long if there's milk milk, and there's people carrying and cuddling her, she will feel indifferent? I duno yet.. Shall see it next week bah.

I am also worried that she will grow more attached to the maid - the main caregiver, when I am always not around with her. And she will get more used to her style and will not give in to mine. Especially that Filipino maid of mine always hum that song supposedly in tagalore that I dun understand, and my baby always go silent and rocked to sleep. Should I feel glad that she's able to pacify my baby or should I feel jealous that she has her way with the baby? I am also worried when we are not around to supervise and remind her, whether she will forget this forget that, neglect this and neglect that? But since we are not the ones taking care of the baby ourselves, how to monitor every single little thing ourselves? No matter how hard, also must slowly let go our grip and let them handle. One thing assuring is that, my in laws will be around to supervise the maid and help to take care of the baby themselves, so at least my baby will be close to their grandparents which is a good thing!

After going back to work, I also have to continue to express my milk. Wonders if that will hinder my work. Also not sure how to bring so many barang barang to office - the medela electronic pump bag, the containers and brush to wash the pumps, my own handbag... aiyo..dun even know how to squeeze into the mrt every morning. So I hope I can survive expressing of milk for the next 3 months when baby reaches 6th month old.

Kayla, mummy will miss u alot when I return to work in another week's time.. Will u miss me too?

Confessions of a guilty mom

In fact, I think I do not deserved to be a mother at all.

I am really guilty. I think I am not a good mother. Call it mother's instinct, I sense that the baby does not actually need me as her mother at all. What do I provide her? I only provide her breastmilk, in fact, she can rely on formula milk, she doesn't need me at all. Whenever she is in distress and cries, I try to carry her but resulted in more agitatedness. But once she is handed over to her father, she will eventually calm down and sleep peacefully in his warmth arms. Why? Why can't she find peace with me - her mother? I juz feel that she doesn't like me as much as her father who is so much more patient, loving and understanding towards her than me towards her.

I feel so guilty. Then he understands that the baby cries because she may be uncomfortable, having stomach wind, not because she wants to cry. By understanding that, he dotes on her more and not detests her non-stop crying. What about me? Instead of doing even better than him, I lamented how sian it is that she keeps crying, and especially when I tried to coax her it got even worse. I even grumbled in frustration that I hate her crying.

I shouldn't say all these, as a mother. But I really said that. Even my husband is also upset with me for saying such things. I see how he hugs her and sayang her, askin her if she's in pain ah, then I reflect on myself, why can't I do the same to my daughter? Why can't I understand that she may be suffering or unhappy, and try to be more patient towards her instead of venting frustrations over her crying. I admit that sometimes I will vent my frustrations on her by refusing to coax her or sayang her when she cries... I am so guilty of so many sins. So I am an undeserving mother. She doesn't need me at all. She has her good and doting father to care for her will do. He is doing much better than me in all aspects.

No matter how hard I try, how much I do, I am juz not doing enough. I am juz not a good mother. I am juz not understanding enough. I am juz not patient enough. I am just not showing enough love.

~Confessions by a very guilty and undeserving mom~

Baby Kayla is 1 month old!

Congrats to myself that I have finally endured 1 full month of confinement and I finally can be "released" today! Wahaha...

Following the end of my confinement is that, Baby Kayla is 1 month old! I agree that despite the past 1 month hasn't been easy for me and hubby, time flies!

I am loving Baby Kayla more and more each day, finding her multiple facial expressions, her different types of cries representing different needs, the look in her innocent eyes, and even when she 'gek sai' are all so funny and interesting! Maybe the bonding between us is finally setting in...

Today is the 1st time I breastfeed Baby Kayla in public (in a restaurant), and not in a nursing room. Initially I was quite worried that I may not be able to handle as it may be awkward for me. Surprisingly I managed to cover ourselves quite discreetly and I can even eat while I feed her in comfort! Cool! With more practice, I am sure I will get more familiar with such feeding antics.

For the past weeks, I have learnt how to push myself beyond the usual limits, to strengthen my mental determination despite the physical tiredness, to pick myself up after having a good cry, and being more patient. All these are because of the love I have for Baby Kayla and my husband..

Some photo updates of Baby Kayla:

Her favourite pasttime - biting her fingers

Her little finger..holding Papa's finger tightly..

Her tiny little feet, saying Hi!


Baby Kayla, dressed up beautifully for her baby shower celebration

In my daughter's eyes

(The song)

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

A little more Patience + TLC + Understanding

I need a little more Patience + TLC from you, at this point of time. As much as I would try to do things by myself, I hope you can be more Understanding that its harder for me to do things by myself, without straining my body.

When you grumble, when you lose your patience, I feel bad & sad that I have to make you do all these things in life for me, willingly.

I need some hugs & rubs on the back from you, knowing that you still love me. Although I know the fact that you still love me a lot. Somehow I just need a little more TLC from you, not all the time, but even if its occassionally, it will definitely cheer me up.

I understand you are tired-out, from work, from housework. So sometimes I wonder, am I asking too much? Or is it just a natural need, especially at this point of time?

The Ugly Side of Pregnancy....

1) Double-chin

2) Stretchmarks

3) Swollen Hands & Feet

My Secret Wish

I have a secret wish, especially ever since I got pregnant...

I always like this song "The Greatest Love of All" - it was the advertisement song from Great Eastern, about children. So I always link this song to the love for children, the naive & pure smiles of the children.

My secret wish is to have a video/photo clip made, about scenes when I am due for labour, when our baby is born, and the mother-child love displayed after the baby is born and in our arms..., with the background song "The Greatest Love of All".

It is my secret wish, and I always visualise in my mind. Even if this wish doesn't realise, I can always imagine how wonderful & touching the scenes will be...

It's just my secret wish

Mrs Greedy?

"Someone" commented I look like this character from Mr Men and Little Miss:

相似度:　 ? %

An e-card that saves the day.

Baby, mummy is sorry that she has to make you go through some unhappy moods that night... Mummy was really tired and unwell after work and shopping, so moods not very good...

It didn't help much that some nitty-gritty things between daddy & mummy happened at home after that.

Furthermore the uterus contractions that triggered at middle of the night didn't make things any better.. was suffering from the contractions, the intense pain that go on and off, for more than 30 minutes (while daddy is sleeping soundly away... ) I understand that the contractions also made you uncomfortable cuz of lack of moving space so you kept kicking away.. That adds on to mummy's pain and unwellness.

Just as I thought my Thursday night and next morning will be ruined by the unhappy events and lack of sleep, an e-card from Daddy saves the day.

The e-card is very sweet and definitely makes my Friday better..all the unhappiness is gone once I received the e-card. I am very comforted that daddy knew what went wrong and how to fix them.

I still want to say sorry to Baby for making you suffer with mummy's mood swings... I hope it won't happen (that frequently) again so that your future development will not be affected.

Yammy Mummy's Emo-Updates

It hasn't been an easy week for Yammy Mummy, with tiredness setting in and having to brave the sweltering sun on every morning's walk to office, and every lunch time. Hate the detesting weather, especially with my own temperature increasing like mad!!! Not forgetting my swollen feet that made things worse.

With the above causes, I have no choice but to get a new pair of shoes (anyway, my current pair has just "opened mouth in front and behind"), and Dear also suggested me to get a few more dresses since it will be more cooling for me. We went to Causeway Point on Saturday to get all these items. Also bought some more baby necessities from Kiddy Palace.

At the shopping mall while waiting for the salesgirl to get our items, and I was aching all over the body and my feet are very tired and painful from the walking and standing, suddenly Dear said to me that he knows its really hard for me to carry such a heavy weight on my body. From his words, I felt comforted cuz at least I know he understands the pain that I am going thru (which I thot that he doesn't know!). I am also thankful that he has been doing all he can, whether financially or physically, to assist me thru this period...

I was on emo-roller coaster for the past week when I was facing all those physical changes yet can't take a break from work. I am glad that I have a day's off tomorrow! Also I will be able to see the updates of Baby Yam again!

I took a good rest break over the weekend and hope to continue to slow down my pace of life like this, so that I won't feel frustrated and unhappy easily again.

Counting down to June...then July...

Random Sianzness...

Recently have been feeling some random sianzness.... Can't really explain why and how it occurs..

I just feel that I miss my baby girl very very much... Just feeling her kicks is not enough for me now... I keep looking forward and visualising how is it like to cuddle her in my arms, to touch her small little hands and feet, to hear her voices (cries in fact). Just to be physically close to her... sometimes I think I am going "crazy" with those thoughts.. If I don't feel her movements for some time, I will start to miss them... I am actually "craving" for her every single movements in me, although becoming so routine and familiar, yet I can't do without them.

Maybe at least if I am kept occupied with preparing her nursery room I won't think that much?? Or maybe it won't any make much difference at all.

I just feel that I seem to be like "forever pregnant" and why is it taking so long for me to reach the final point whereby I can physically see and touch her.

Another 2 more months to go... Seems quite a long wait for me. I just miss her badly.