- Facebook is a social networking service and website launched in February 2004, operated and privately owned by Facebook, Inc.[1] As of July 2011, Facebook has more than 750 million active users.[6][7] Users may create a personal profile, add other users as friends, and exchange messages, including automatic notifications when they update their profile.
- Friend(ship) is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations.
Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
- The tendency to desire what is best for the other
- Sympathy and empathy
- Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
- Mutual understanding and compassion
- Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
- Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
I like to, through updates on Facebook (a very easily accessible tool in my life now), write about anything about my life, my thoughts, my feelings - whether good or bad, happy or sad, etc... anything if and when I want to.Well, that is real life isn't it? Life has many different facades, not all the time rosy. Anyway I am such a person that I like to express them out, cuz of my character. I don't like to keep inside me, cuz if I do, I will keep dwelling over it and it makes me feel crazy!
Well, a friend texted me and briefly asked me I am alright now, few days after the post on the Facebook. Then the friend, I believe its out of good intention, told me that some things are better not to be said in public. Inside me I feel like saying its NOYB! I do not sense the Sympathy and Empathy from you, even as a fellow mother yourself. Yes, probably you are more rational, less emotional in character, and very fortunately that you do not face such hostile issues from your child, and you may not have been rejected by your own child, or even if you did, you would have been so level-headed that you wouldn't mind it with a kid! Oh yah, maybe you also think I am an immature adult who do not know how to handle my own feelings well, and who actually mind it with a kiddo! But these are my feelings! I care so much because I put in a lot of efforts on my child and I feel terribly disheartened whenever my child rejects me, pushes me away in favor of her father. I am someone who is in need of recognition and acceptance. And Yes, I may not be good in managing my feelings, but trust me, I have kept more inside me over the years. I have learnt not to share so much of my real feelings over the years. But there are times when I am really emotional and down, I need an outlet to release my feelings.
After this incident, I wonder... what is considered a Friend? One who tells the truth they have of you despite knowing that may hurt? Or who should at least empathize even if they don't sympathize? Maybe that is why it is defined in such a way that "there is a range of degrees of intimacy in friendship..." Friends who understand you better, who support you yet not afraid to tell you the truth after they have shown their support and understanding for you, are of a closer relationship. Those who only briefly tried to show their concern, then turn around to give a quick harsh judgement and opinion of their own, OUCH! That hurts. That I afraid I have to stay away...because you never once tried to understand me...
Well, I have learnt my lesson since I have been judged and commented on, no matter how much I want to relay my feelings/thoughts into words on Facebook, I better think twice! No I better think thrice! I have to turn to my blog to vent all the unspoken thoughts and feelings...& of cuz to count on real Friends whom I can trust to confide to...even if they judge, they have empathized...
[update]
i think it's your right to post whatever you want to in your FB, blog or any social media. not like you're posting some R(A) stuff or what that are really best not for the public eye. besides, your postings are for your friends or network. not like everything you will share with the entire world.
ReplyDeletewe trust our friends will understand, show support or appreciate the things we post, be it happy or upset matters to us. we're not looking for people who will judge us. but if they do judge without understanding the real situation, then 我们可以看清楚那个朋友...
if we cannot find an outlet to vent our unhappiness, it's very hard for us also!