Yan Yan growing up!

Yan Yan is now about 4 mths+ old liao..Amazing changes we can see from her growth...

Dear's 26th Birthday!

Start:	May 6, '05 12:00p
Location:	Pick Me off work first :P

Its my Dear Dear's 26th Birthday!!

What Shld I do?

I have a lot of uncertain thoughts now...Wondering what should my next
step be? Wesley keeps telling me, Cheer up! Be more positive! But it
seems like I m so into my "negative mood" that I cant turn back in
time...



Everytime in work, I feel like I am causing and creating problems
rather than adding incentive or value ( that means good n many closure
lah). I really appreciate that in my company they are slowly teaching
me through the mistakes I made. But at the same time, I m feelin
doubtful n guilty that I am the bane of so many unnecessary problems.
Is it because I am really that bad or is my working style is wrong? Y
is it that I dun feel I am in any ways, valuable at all?



Underneath my bubbly look, I am actually a negative n pessimistic
person who always blame myself for a lot of things. Yet at the same
time, I m abit resistant towards help and advice. I duno how to open up
myself, to have a more cheerful me, a more motivating me, n a more
willing to learn from mistakes person. I keep swallowin myself within
the black hole I created fro myself. My grumbles and complaints have
been increasing & I know it affects my colleagues, and eventually
they will not wan to come near me liao..



I dun wan to be a burden to my team as I dun contribute to their sales,
yet I dun wan to escape from problems by quitting ( thou I m oreadi
unhappy workin here) I dun find any much joy/satisfaction in the work I
do. I feel dragged....
I would like to grow up and be more matured in my every decision, esp
towards my work. I dun wan to escape jus bcuz i cant face up to my
problems..But i need to tok to someone but duno who..Dun wan to add on
more problems to bf, dun wan to show myself as a weakling to my senior
colleagues cuz eventually it still boils down to my own self. They wun
understand my problems one. They will see me as a problem instead....



I dun wan end up to c psychastrist. I dun hav problem...I juz need to
tok to someone I feel comfortable with, n able to provide me positive
views.

My Dating Quiz Results

Your dating personality profile: Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities.  You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule.  You enjoy being active. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views.  You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess.  You care about the stuff of like that really matters.

Your date match profile: Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart.  Flashy, materialistic people turn you off.  You appreciate the simpler side of living. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match.  Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need. Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato.  You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Athletic 2. Liberal 3. Practical 4. Outgoing 5. Big-Hearted 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Traditional 8. Sensual 9. Intellectual 10. Stylish

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Practical 2. Conservative 3. Athletic 4. Traditional 5. Big-Hearted 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Outgoing 8. Romantic 9. Funny 10. Intellectual

Take
the Online Dating
Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Unhappy abt work... : (

These past weeks have not been upliftin/ happy at work... Stimes I feel disentangled/ disconnected from the other colleagues whereby they have their own team supporting them. Its not that I dun hav any, but stimes I feel neglected being far away, whether in terms of physical/ mentally. I dun have the bond that they have built up, yet I am being "disowned" from the previous group. Mayb I am oversensitive or mayb I shouldnt have tink so much in the first place, cuz its only work mah. Juz work will do. Y shld I care which grp m I in? It doesnt matter one rite? I m glad tt my leader has been tryin so much to bring me closer, but guess it takes more time to establish tt bond...I dun hav anythin much work in common with wat they are doin, so most of the time I am doin my own share of work. *shrug*

Another thing, I really dun like the sales target pressure...Its nt a challenge to me at all, cuz i dun like it in the first place, neither do i wan to learn how to conquer it.. I was bein questioned by one of the leaders abt my closure for the prev week, whereby I managed to close 1 of each type within the week lor! So are my efforts being recognised? i do so much also can't reach target, then y i try so hard for? So tired so tired...So tired of havin to report here n there, especially u have nothin good to report.

Now everyone has the mentality to move on...So do I...So dismayed n discouraged by the current situation...Feel so tensed everyday in work.

I need some guidance in my life now...Where shld I go from here?

Had a great night out with Colleagues!

On Thursday, some of us (Ade, Shann - The 2 ma-ma, Pei Pei, charlene & Milly) went Chomp Chomp for a great dinner, consisting of BBQ chicken wings, BQ stingray, seafood, rojak etc...Eat until so full so full...Had a great time jokin and laughing around...It's really a great destressing activity after a hard day at work..

Then on Friday, Pei Pei, Charlene, Ai ling and me went to watch Ms Congenality at PS. We also had a lot of fun talking and laughing about...Its really an enjoyable activity with my dear colleagues... I am really fortunate to have some good company of colleagues, whom I can be my ownself and also having fun!

Long time no update liao...

Wo..Long time (cuz no time) no update my journal liao hor... Hmmm..

1) My company got 2 new colleagues - 1 "dao" & "cold" female one, and 1 "enthusiastic" & "humorous" male one.. Haha..very drastically different right? & suay suay the female one sit next to me.. I m tryin to adjust n hopefully our 1st impression of hers will change soon...

2) My ex-boyfren's sis whom I was quite close with got married last month..Just saw their wedding photos & also chat wif her on MSN, makes me feel very happy for her...Kinda miss her thou.. She was the one who brought me out of my despair n unhappines when I was facing the rship prob with her bro. Her husband is a tall, hunky, suave & funny Ang-Moh! So lucky of her! (She went overseas studies mah) So Single girlfrens out there, if you wan2 hav an AngMoh bf/husband, go overseas for studies, u nvr know ur luck rite? hahah

3) I accompany my girlfren for wedding gown trying on last week, then realise its such a tired & tedious activity, but I enjoy n learn a lot! Worse of all, I dun feel excited by the variety of gowns available there...Not tt nice, or sth I would really like..sigh...At least my fren does get to pick sth she likes out of those she dun like..SO! If I choose a Bridal Studio, I make sure I have to go thru the weddin gowns design first.. hee hee haha.. Btw, anyone out there had experience as a Jie Mei? Can teach me some good ones? Cuz I will be a Jie Mei for her!! (*Psst, btw, her husband also Ang-Moh! Tall & handsome too! Funny also... heee) But seeing her try out her gown, I feel that I really & seriously need to slim down when I am getting married...Sigh...Pls encourage & motivate me leh...

4) My Manager will be relieving her duties very soon & we'll be having a farewell dinner for her... I will miss her cuz she's a nice boss to us...I can discuss matters with her if i need to..No need scared one, unlike the acting Manager we have now...sigh, my colleagues will udnerstd wat I mean right? Furthermore, our leave is not approved for this period of time till June/July! Cuz we have a target to reach from now till then, so we are not allowaed to take leave! Ridiculous n utterly unhappy.Well, at least I can re-plan my holiday.

5) I will be going for 2 Bridal shows for the next 2 weeks, 1 is free one (heehee... kio dio one- SAttine Bridal Studio+Holiay Inn Park View) The other one is paid one, by Style Wedding Mag- Swissotel Stamford & various Bridal Studios, like White Link etc.. Hope can get sth out of these 2 events..hahaha...like free wedding tabbles ah, free gown ah, free package ah...hahha..Dreaming I guess  wish me luck thou!