In another week's time, I will have to end my 3 months' of Mum-@-Home assignment and resume to Mum-@-Work status...
In my 1st month of stayin at home, I felt tired, bored and desperately wanted to go back to work...But after being with my baby for almost 24/7 everyday, and seeing her growing up everyday, I really can't bear to leave her for so many hours without seeing her. I've grown attached to her, but I do not know whether is the mutual feeling for her too? Or so long if there's milk milk, and there's people carrying and cuddling her, she will feel indifferent? I duno yet.. Shall see it next week bah.
I am also worried that she will grow more attached to the maid - the main caregiver, when I am always not around with her. And she will get more used to her style and will not give in to mine. Especially that Filipino maid of mine always hum that song supposedly in tagalore that I dun understand, and my baby always go silent and rocked to sleep. Should I feel glad that she's able to pacify my baby or should I feel jealous that she has her way with the baby? I am also worried when we are not around to supervise and remind her, whether she will forget this forget that, neglect this and neglect that? But since we are not the ones taking care of the baby ourselves, how to monitor every single little thing ourselves? No matter how hard, also must slowly let go our grip and let them handle. One thing assuring is that, my in laws will be around to supervise the maid and help to take care of the baby themselves, so at least my baby will be close to their grandparents which is a good thing!
After going back to work, I also have to continue to express my milk. Wonders if that will hinder my work. Also not sure how to bring so many barang barang to office - the medela electronic pump bag, the containers and brush to wash the pumps, my own handbag... aiyo..dun even know how to squeeze into the mrt every morning. So I hope I can survive expressing of milk for the next 3 months when baby reaches 6th month old.
Kayla, mummy will miss u alot when I return to work in another week's time.. Will u miss me too?
Silly gal! Dun worry too much ya?! Just spend more time with Kayla when you're not at work. As for the maid, take it as a good thing that Kayla can learn another language. =) hugs.. everything will be fine!!!
ReplyDeletedont worry, it is another phase you will go through and you will do fine! Look at all the previous worries before pregnancy, during pregnancy and after pregnancy? Didnt you do fine? And i believe after the maternity leave, you will be able to manage even better!
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